Confessions

This morning a friend is on my heart and in my prayers. I don't want to go into the details of the story, because it was told to me years ago in confidence. For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about it. Essentially, my friend made a decision, carried it out, and never told anyone. They carried a horrible secret for years and years. Something known only to them. The action was hard, the decision was perhaps the hardest ever made, but it was done and over and my friend was forever changed. 
What was on my heart this morning is that they went through the entire process alone. No friends, no family, no spouse or clergy were involved. The secret was tucked down inside, where it festered and became unbearable. 
During that conversation so many years ago, I remember the tears. I remember being upset that I had not been told at the time. I would have been there! I would have listened, helped, guided, whatever was needed, I would have done it. I was sick to my stomach that my friend had been so alone, by their own choice, they had never mentioned anything and then it was over, and it was just a secret.
What I also remember as clearly as if it was just yesterday is the immense relief my friend felt after finally being able to share the secret. It was obvious in their posture, their speech, I swear my friend even looked younger after getting it all out. A weight had lifted and a physical change took place.
My point to this is, my friend thought that they were alone, that no one would stand with them though the process. That they could get through it without help from anyone else. They were wrong. They lived with the decision for years and it ate away at their soul.
My friend was unable to share with me at the time, the reasons are a bit muddy. But the friend told me that as hard as the decision was, it was harder not to share it, it was harder to be so alone.

We are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to bear the burdens of this life by ourselves. I would encourage everyone to find a trusted friend, and unburden your hearts! Maybe you don't think there is anyone that you can trust, you can always go to God in prayer. 
I've changed my blog settings to allow for anonymous comments - unburden yourself here! 
I'll listen. 
I'd love to pray for you, even if you don't want to share the details, I'll pray for you. 
Don't carry the weight of a past mistake, or hurt, or decision. This is brand new year, a time when people all over the world are making a new start, trying to change, and move forward. Move forward by leaving the past in the past -