About the Tithe

Short posty today. I'm sitting here wondering about the tithe. So, you may or may not know that a tithe in literal terms is one tenth. God says to bring the full tithe - all of it - all one tenth into His storehouse and he will bless you to the point that you can't even hold the blessings! He'll give you so much in return for you obedience that you'll have to give that away too, or else you'd be flooded with blessing! Makes me think of the hoarding shows.
This is one of the only times you'll ever see God saying "test me in this."
I'm no Bible scholar, so I can't tell you where to find the passages - I'll look them up for you if you ask me to though. But I also know that God tells us to give with a willing spirit. In order to receive God's blessings, we have to give Him whatever He asks, and we have to do it willingly.
Today, I'm a little confused. I'll tell you this, I've tested God's Word by tithing, it was not an easy test, I consider myself in the "broke to poor" salary range. But, God can't lie and when he says He'll bless you, He will. I know this to be true. I've seen it in my life as well as my bank account. I'm still poor, but since tithing, I've never been broke, or overdrawn. I always have a few dollars to spend and a few to save. I'm not rich in money, but I've seen other blessings from my obedience. It's nice.
So, if I know all of this to be true. If I know in my heart that God will do what He says and He will reward my obedience, how is it that I find myself reluctant to obey?
I've talked to people, and heard about people, and read stories about people who tithe faithfully, the full ten percent, and I hear them say the same thing. "We were tithing regularly, and it became easier to let go of that money each week, then God asked for more. Even though we knew He'd be faithful, it was hard to let go."
Now, I sit here on payday after God has asked me for more. I don't know why He needs more. Well, that's not true.God doesn't need my money, He craves my obedience. He craves my willing obedience. I've got the obedience thing down (as much as I can) but it's the willing part I'm struggling with. I want to be willing. I want to want to hear and obey. I want to receive the blessings - I want the blessings to flow out of my windows and onto my neighbor's lawn - but how do I get the willing spirit? Does God know that I want to be willing - but I'm having a hard time with it? Like a child that is sorry, but has to be forced to apologize, does the "I'm sorry" really still count?